Week 1

Well it's been one week with Thomas! So far he has been a pretty good baby. Or should I say textbook? He eats when he's "supposed" to eat, sleeps when he's "supposed" to sleep and so on. Well, he's still young so I guess the sleep thing isn't set in stone yet:) He really likes to be swaddled. It calms him right down. And his other favorite thing is peeing straight out of his diaper. His parts are still healing so we can't really point it down yet...so the pee just shoots out the side or top of the diaper most of the time. No fun. But soon enough he will be completely healed! Here he is resting on the blanket that I made:

Look how tiny!

It's amazing to me how tiny they are. The two older kids are doing pretty well. With all the randomness and visitors in their lives lately they've definitely been pushing limits, but I'd say they are doing pretty good. They LOVE Thomas and want to hold him all the time. I think the newness of him will wear off, but for now they are super excited about him. Last night we got pretty good sleep so I'm feeling good, but I know that might not be the case tonight! So we are taking it super slow and easy. We've been maintaining the sick day mentality. You know when you used to get sick and stay home from school and all you'd do is sit on the couch and watch movies? Well any chance we get that's what we do. We've declared 1-4 pm mandatory rest time. Noah sleeps the whole time, Mary looks at books then sleeps, and me and Ian watch shows! It's beautiful. And of course it's interrupted by Thomas needing to eat.

Thomas Clay

The events of Tuesday happened so quickly that I want to get them all out before time races away from me again. At 11:48 on Tuesday morning Thomas Clay Lubbers joined us on the outside:) These pictures all uploaded randomly so sorry for the lack of order:

When we got home I fed him and then laid him in the boppy. It was so cute to me how he just fit in there! So tiny.

Family of 5:

Loves:

Noah was really happy about his brother...this is his "cheese" face:

Look how small! I laughed out loud at the sight of him in this car seat:

Ah, now for a couple of the actual birth (story in a moment):

The reason you wont see any directly of my face is because I was weeping uncontrollably. Like, nasty crying.

Let me start my saying this labor was not a sweet one. I wont look back on it with intensely fond memories like I do with my others. The birth part was beautiful and holding him for the first time with his beautiful baby smell was something I can't describe. But labor was a whole new beast. Let me start at the end, when I was begging for an epidural. That is something that I'd never even been tempted to do before! At that moment my doula (and amazing friend, Dee) got close to my face and said, "Megan, you've done this before. What is different about this labor?" My response at the time was I don't know! But I have had some time to look back and reflect.

At 6:30 that morning I woke up to some strange contractions, much different than the ones I'd experienced in my other labors. They were very intense starting in my back and making their way around to the center of my abdomen. They were coupling and tripling. So I'd have a strong one then 1-2 lighter ones. Then occasionally it would skip the lighter ones. It was all very random and I couldn't make sense of it. Around 9 Ian suggested we go to the hospital since the kids had been picked up and friends who were attending the birth had been notified. I didn't want to go. I couldn't make sense of what was happening and I couldn't figure out where I was in the process of labor or if I was even in labor. After a shower I decided he was right. We left for the hospital around 10.

I was still feeling very strange and almost transition-like, but I didn't think I could be there yet. I'd only been in labor 3 hours as far as I could tell. We met my two friends and got into the triage room. They monitored me a little and checked me. I was 6 centimeters. This gave me some frame of reference so I was happy for that, but nothing else was lining up with that number. Why did I feel like I was going to puke, poop, pee and cry all at the same moment already? We moved over to the other room and things really picked up in intensity. Dee had the bath ready for me and I climbed in but found no relief. So I stood up and turned the shower on...still no relief. I was still having all four of the aforementioned sensations and now I felt lots of pressure so I sat on the toilet.

This relieved the pee sensation a little, but I just didn't feel right. Everything was happening at once and contractions were overwhelming me. I went to lay down on the bed to try to ground myself. At that moment I knew I needed a drastic measure. I calmly told Ian that he needed to get the nurse and I wanted an epidural. I'm sure he was very surprised. He told me I was doing so well and seemed very calm and he didn't understand. I told him I knew myself and I couldn't handle this. The truth is I was losing it on the inside. I really felt like I was going to explode and I was sure I was only 6-7 centimeters. It had only been 20 minutes since they checked me.

The nurse came in and responded perfectly. She asked if she could check me again. "What if you're 10 centimeters??" I was 8. So I said please just give me the epidural I know this is too much for me. OK. She started an IV and did very well thankfully! The bag of fluid got to about half way through which seemed like an eternity but I'm sure it was God giving me the break I asked him for. The rest time between contractions felt very long to me even though I could tell the contractions coming now were the transition ones. And they were excruciating. Those ones always are, but usually I'm a little more prepared for them. I just laid there and said "please God" over and over again and hoped I wouldn't pass out. This is when the nurse came in with the anesthesiologist whom she called "Ed". All I could think at the time was I love Ed! More Ed please! But looking back I'm very confused why he wasn't Dr. So-and-so. I call my mechanic Ed, not someone who is going to put a long needle in my back!

Well Ed told me annoyingly what everyone else was saying, "You seem to be doing well. I'm sure you're about to start pushing, but if you can sit up and hold still I can try to put an epidural in." He suggested I be checked one more time. I was fully dilated. In a span of 7 minutes. But I was still pretty set on not feeling anything else. Then I started uncontrollably pushing. The nurse asked me to stop, but that was not possible at all. I pushed one time and Ian said, "You're already pushing, see you can do this!" I wasn't convinced, but I did know there was no way I could sit up or sit still so bye-bye Ed. I felt for a head and it was still a couple inches in. I told Ian that baby was not even close to being born and I couldn't do this! Well then came that uncontrollable urge again and I pushed with my body. Then I'm sure my eyes bugged right out of my head because I felt Thomas' head crowning! I reached down to touch it and couldn't believe it. The nurse gloved up quickly and yelled for a doctor. Mine was not there yet...because I had only been at the hospital for an hour! The next push came and Thomas was out.

I was sobbing and so incredibly relieved. Here comes the only part of the actual birth that was not sweet. After he came out I looked down to search for him because he wasn't immediately on my chest like my other two were. The on call OB was already trying to clamp the cord!! Say what? So I asked him to stop and he said, "I'm not sure why but OK." I didn't say this but I was really sad for him. If you're not sure why then you really should not be an OB. Or a nurse, or doula even. Anyway, then I said please give me my baby and reached for him. Then the sobbing really increased because I saw he was a HE! Thomas was with us! I was done! I held him and wept and listened as Ian and Dee talked to me.

Thinking back over things I was reminded of a chapter from one of my doula books that talked about special labors and how to cope with them. One type of special labor was the rapid labor. Things started to make sense in my mind at this point. I remembered how the author said many women with rapid labor feel like they can't stay on top of it. Sensations overwhelm them and some start to hyperventilate. Also, the pain comes much more intensely and quickly so many aren't prepared. This described me to a T. And we had done all the things the book said to do in that situation, but nothing worked.

I told Ian if we do end up having another kid I will probably plan an epidural or at least get an IV put in when we arrive. He asked why and I told him I have no regrets about asking for an epidural. When people have asked me in the past if I think there is a good reason to get an epidural I haven't really known what to say. Now I do. Know yourself! What can you handle? A rapid labor is crazy insane. Luckily most people don't have to deal with them! I felt like I was losing my mind and like I was about to explode (actually not mentally). My other two labors were not super long (about 7 and about 10 hours respectively), but they happened in a rhythm and I had time to adjust. With Thomas' labor I had no time. I only had sensation on top of sensation and it was hard. But it's done and he's here and we are a family of 5!

Mary update

Can you see the beautiful 3 year old in this picture?

Is she playing on her slide? Nope, she's up in a tree. Daddy showed her how to climb up those small trees in the back and now it is a sure fire way to keep her occupied for half an hour. So I had to grab the camera:)

She is anxiously awaiting the arrival of her little brother or sister. If you ask her which one she wants she says a brother AND a sister. I blame that on two books: Big Sister Dora and God Gave Us Two. Both books end with the mommy having twins... They are good besides that though! She still loves her brother, but has recently taken to shutting him out of places. Like she will run into a room and shut the door so he can't follow. We're working on it.

She still loves trains and will play with her set for a long time. One thing I think is funny that she has started doing is asking what the consequences will be if she doesn't obey. "Mommy, what happens if I shut the door on Noah?" "Mommy, what happens if I get out of bed?" My response is usually, "We don't need to talk about that because you are going to obey mommy right???" Plus, those are repeat offenses...she knows what the consequences are! But it's still cute.

No knew news with the room sharing fun. They are still playing FOREVER before going to sleep. I told Ian we needed to scale back our plan of attack. For now we are just enforcing the 'stay in your bed' rule. Instead of stay in your bed, stay laying down, be quiet. Simplify!

Noah 22 months

 Playing in the dirt (with a shovel, not hands...improvement!)

 One of his all time favorite past-times, watching daddy cut the grass. We need to get him one of those kid lawn mowers that blows bubbles!

Noah is over 22 months now! That last picture is him playing hide and seek. If you can't tell, he is a champion at hide and seek. And he ALWAYS answers, "I'm right here!" if you ask where he is while he's hiding. He is so much fun right now and still such a charmer. It melts my heart when he says please, thank you, and excuse me on his own with a cute little smile. How could someone ever be mad at someone that cute? When he's disobedient we often have to look away because we are cracking up inside.

I love the way he yells, "Mommy!" then a couple seconds later, "Daddy!" then, "Mommy Daddy get me OUT!" when he wakes up in the morning. This morning he was doing the usually yelling and then saying, "Jumping time Mary!" When Mary told him no and to stop. I think she was still tired...Bedtime is still interesting and mostly involves them playing until they drop.

He continues to be pretty friendly. He likes to tell people bye bye, see you later! And he will stand at the door doing that until they are out of sight. He REALLY likes to help me. I'm hoping this continues for years to come. If I can see a struggle coming with getting him to do something I just say, "can you please help mommy __________" I don't know why it works, but he loves to help. And his newest development is saying OK instead of yes. Noah do you want to go outside? OK. Noah are you all done eating? OK. Are you going to say yes ever again? Yes OK.

victory

Yes, that is 3 car seats in the back of my Toyota corolla. They are wedged in with absolutely no room in between, but they are installed safely! And we had to buy a new car seat...but $200 is cheaper than $10,000. Buying ourselves some time!

Appointment

Just thought I would post a quick update about my appointment yesterday. My friend/doula came with me and it was so nice to have her there! We got to hear baby's heart beat and chat with Dr. Bowen for a few minutes. He signed off on the birth plan so that's good to go! It hasn't changed a whole lot since last time, but there are a few minor things I wanted to make sure he saw. Then he asked if I had any questions...no. I never do. Sometime I want to have a unique whopper of a question for him, but really it's just time to hang out until baby comes. So I'll return next week hopefully for another boring appointment, or possibly in labor:)

Dirt

This is nothing, I realize that. Tip of the iceberg when it comes to dirt on the face. But I would really like to know why boys have this unstoppable urge to grab a handful of dirt and do one of three things:
1. eat it
2. rub it on their bodies
3. throw it
That list is in order of Noah's preference. And it's any dirt, all the time. Mary never did this. I mean I think she tried to eat dirt once? But it's every time Noah goes outside!

BFF's

Mary and Noah are best friends. They LOVE being together. Recently we put them into the same room so they could get used to it before baby comes and it has been very interesting. I try to remind myself that I have prayed for a long time that they would be best friends when they are having "jumping time" instead of sleeping. It has been difficult to say the least. They are tired during the day and so excited to be in the same room that they can't sleep at night. A couple funny things that have happened is that as soon as we walk out of the room Noah will say, "Jumping time Mary???" What an instigator. We have told them that they have to stay laying down and stay in bed..those are the only rules. Mary has no problem with them, but Noah would rather be jumping! I've also heard Noah whisper, "Come here Mary!!" multiple times. Occasionally she'll get sucked in by his charm, but usually I hear the reply, "No Noah."

So I'm going to focus on the fact that they love being together and what an answer to prayer that is! Sprinkler time:

Such a big girl I can't believe it:

This is what he did most of the time...he only occasionally joins in the sprinkler fun.

Green juice

So I read on a friend's blog about how she has made smoothies for her kids with spinach in them. Let me just say that veggies gross me out. I really hate vegetables, but I try to eat them and I've made them a part of my kid's diet since they were 6 months old. So mostly I wanted to start making these smoothies for myself! Trust me, I would not eat them if you could taste the spinach...but you can't! It's awesome! I sliced some bananas and froze them. The first smoothie I made I just used the bananas, some strawberries, a handful of spinach leaves, and some apple juice. It was seriously delicious. The next one I ran out of strawberries so I just used a very ripe pear and I think that one was even better. And more green, which is Mary's favorite color:)

Anyway, the kids loved them and I found a way to eat spinach without wanting to throw up! I highly recommend them.

Appointment

I had an appointment yesterday and everything is going well. Baby's heart rate looks good and baby is very low (tell me something I don't know!). That's basically all that happens at my appointments so there's not much else to tell. I had Dr. Bowen, who I love, and he was just as pleasant as ever. It makes me a little sad that he might not be the one to attend my birth since he was there for the other two, but he hired a partner two years ago so...it might be Dr. Wall. Personally I don't really care too much. I always tell moms that a baby is coming out no matter what. For 95% of women there's really no stopping it! So it's not a huge deal to me who's sitting at the end of the bed as long as they are not trying to force me into unnecessary interventions.

I told Ian the other day that it didn't really matter because I want to catch this baby anyways. He quickly responded that I wasn't allowed since HE was going to catch the baby! I pointed out that he chickened out last time. I know you will all be sitting on the edge of your seat to see this drama unfold...so I'll let you know what happens in a few weeks;)