The thing that prepared us most

Many people have questions for us about fostering. For most of our close friend and family circles we are the first to foster so it is an interesting concept for many people. I love the questions! I pray people will keep them coming 1. because it gives an outlet for all the thoughts and emotions boiling up in me to spill out and 2. because i hope it generates interest in orphans and children in need.

In any event, one thing I keep telling people about is what prepared me most for fostering. It wasn't classes, asking the social workers questions or completing the home study. Although to varying degrees those things were helpful. The most helpful thing by far is reading stories of people who have been there. I NEED to know what it is really going to be like in the trenches. And I can't tell you how many times I've already said to a worker, "but in class they said ______ was the procedure for _____ situation," and the worker will say, "oh well we can file an extension," or, "I'll just suggest something else." You can do that??? I guess so.

Reading the stories of others, mostly in blog form, was so helpful because when things like that happen I find myself not completely surprised by it. Or when our worker calls with new details the day of a court date I can just sigh and shrug and think, 'well this is the system I signed up for.' Because I've already read how OFTEN things don't go the way they should or the way the system is supposed to function.

Today I read this post and I so appreciate it because I feel like emotionally I'm holding J at arms length. I find myself mentally pointing out all his flaws because I don't want to like him too much. I'm not saying this is a great way to do things...I'm just saying it's what I've been doing. But that makes it really difficult to choose to love him and that is something I HAVE to do. It's a struggle.

If you are interested, here are a couple of my favorite blogs I've come across:
Instant Mama
Filled to the brim