Day 2

Well we survived the first two days of having baby j in our home! I feel accomplished just having survived. This is no time for thriving. It has been such an emotional roller coaster for me and so busy! He came yesterday around 10 and we spoke with his social worker for a while, then she left. Multiple people stopped by, some people brought food and others just wanted to meet him! Then today started with a doctor's appointment, came home to meet with his worker again, then our worker came to visit since we hadn't met him yet and he has to come within 7 days of a placement. Then I headed out to the store to buy J some clothes with the voucher they gave me. Thankfully it was to target so I got him some seriously cute clothes:) Since he is in the same size as Thomas, we need to increase our 2T stash!

Then I came home and it was already 4 o'clock. I try to remind myself that every parent has days (and sometimes weeks on end) where, at the end of the day, you just want to drop into bed and sleep for 10 hours and pray the next day is better. I really think it's just the change and busyness that has been the hardest for me. He really has been doing pretty well so far. Probably the only positive thing about him being left in his crib for hours on end before social services stepped in is that he sleeps pretty well so far! 

It took him longest to fall asleep tonight for bed. Before then it had only taken him 2-3 minutes to fall asleep but tonight he was just wailing. I went in a few times and held him until he stopped crying. Well he stopped crying immediately when I picked him up but I held him until he calmed down. Finally he got really close to sleep and when I laid him down that time he went to sleep easily. I cried a few tears as I held him. What has he been through? Will he go home and have to experience those things again? Will he become attached to us only to be ripped away again? He is innocent in all this and while I want his mom to get better, I never want him to have to experience being torn from those he knows as family again. 

I really appreciate everyone praying for us. Specific requests would be for us to now how to deal with his temper and screaming (which makes me want to rip my own ears off). And for peace and a long term vision in our hearts for baby j.