The Doula Book

Yes, that's the name of one of the books I bought Friday. When people have asked me why we hired a Doula for both births I never really know what to say. I couldn't really put words to why I wanted them. Enter: The Doula Book. I've only read the first 2 chapters, but it really helped put words to my thoughts.

Up until about 100 (ish) years ago women were always surrounded by other women while giving birth. Usually a midwife and a couple other women who were close to the mother. Women were always able to share that experience with other women who could support them and really go through the experience with them because they had either done it themselves, or looked forward to doing that in the future. Then births were moved to hospitals and it was usually just the woman with a doctor and nurse who were in and out of the room. Can you imagine? That would be so scary. Anyway, then they started pushing for the fathers to be in the room. Which is immensely better than being alone, but still lacked something. Fathers are great for support and have a close relationship with the mother which is so valuable. But they often don't know what to do, feel scared when their wives are in so much pain, and/or don't have the knowledge and skills to comfort their wives effectively. This is where the doula comes in. She is the supportive woman being brought back into the picture. She fills the role that women filled for thousands of years. She is a knowledgeable and encouraging presence.

That is why I loved having a doula there! Someone who was knowledgeable about the whole process and had been through it before was there with me the entire time. Doctors in nurses mostly have your health in mind, but they also are thinking about themselves, hospital and medical policy, etc. But a doula's sole focus is you and your baby and encouraging you through this most difficult process. I definitely needed Ian too, but this woman knew what it was like to be in my position. She encouraged me and talked me through different things. She could tell me that what i was experiencing was normal and that I was doing a good job and I believed her because she knew what she was talking about. I remember that Ian kept saying, "It's going to be OK, you're doing great" And I glared at him. I was thinking, 'what do you know? Have you done this before?!?' It wasn't my finest moment as a wife, but I'm just telling it like it was. He was right, of course, but something about our Doula saying it gave me more comfort in that situation. It's almost a sacred thing having her there supporting me. That's why I wanted a Doula there and that's why I think they are so important. The book goes on to talk about how much better outcomes can be when doula's are present so I'm interested in reading about that!

I post these things knowing that not many of you care...but if you know pregnant women in need of support whether before or during their labor feel free to send them my way! I could talk about this stuff forever!