Connie

It has taken me a while to process the death of Ian's mom. I wanted to let him deal with it however he needed and for him that meant time alone to think and process. He didn't really want to talk much or have others around him, he just needed to deal. I get that. The loss of a parent is something we all know is coming, but it's hard to imagine before it actually occurs.

It's been hard for me as well, but I'm sure in much different ways. Connie and I were never really close. Sometimes it was hard for me to know how to relate to her, but there were so many things I appreciated about her. She was funny and thoughtful. She was quirky (which Ian inherited and it is one of my favorite things about him) and she loved her family. But the biggest thing that I will forever love about her and be grateful for was the gift of her son. Since having sons of my own I have thought about her often. Sometimes at night when I'm holding and rocking a crying Noah or Thomas I think about how 30 years ago Connie was doing the same thing with Ian. Without her, Ian wouldn't be who he is today. I bet she, like me, thought about who Ian would marry and whether or not she would like her or fit in with the family. I bet she, also like me, wondered if her son having a new woman in his life would take him away from her. I bet she shared a lot of feelings that I feel and I'm sure most mothers feel.

This is my favorite picture of Connie that we have:

It reminds me that we both are mothers. Also, Ian looks a lot like Thomas in this picture:) We miss her and think about her often.