My predominant feeling was frustration. I was frustrated that there were so many people talking about "the child" (yeah, the one who calls me mommy) who have never even met him. Frustrated that his life is in their hands and they barely know his name except they read it on a piece of paper minutes before making decisions. Frustrated that his mother lied many times and no one spoke the truth. Frustrated that I am helpless to help him!
I left feeling deflated. I, like J, am powerless in this whole thing. We did learn that a family member of his mom has a homestudy in progress now and I have so many mixed feelings. I know it won't be a healthy place for him because I have learned a decent amount about this family member, but I also came into foster care knowing that the state always thinks it's best for kids to go to family members. So this isn't a shocker, it's just that I know how difficult this will be for J. In his mind we are his family. He was so young when he came to us that he won't even remember the people he may go to live with. He may, once again, be ripped from the only family he knows and this time it is one that is stable and loving. I wonder what that will do to him long term. He is already so scarred from the first time it happened. I just wish that he and his siblings would be seen as the only victims here and the ones who need the protection. I wish everyone involved would REALLY want what is best and most healthy for him, but that is just not the case.
As I laid awake last night this verse came to mind and it is what I will hold onto, please pray over it with me that the people involved in this case have come by divine appointment:
"Let every person be subject to the governing authorities for there is no authority except from God, and those who exist have been instituted by God." Rom. 13:1-2
1 comment:
That is so hard. Sorry to hear this. Praying
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