Renaisance Festival

I hate to keep making excuses for my lack of posting...but my computer monitor died. So I've been using Ian's computer...which doesn't have photoshop...which is a problem for me:) I realize that it's rediculous, but I really don't like posting unedited images. But in an attempt to get over it I'm going to post some today! We went to the Renaisance Festival last weekend!

The funny thing about this picture is that I told them to look like they were fighting and our friend said, "how do I do that???" Then there's Ian smiling. They were both pretty excited to hold some real weapons though. The first sword Ian picked up was huge, double edged, and cost $500. I picked up the little one in this picture and told him this was probably more in our price range:) Even that one was $60!

Mary learned what a spear was last week when we read about David and Goliath in her little bible. Goliath is holding a spear in the story. So when I saw it I asked her if she remembered what it was. She smiled. I told her that this is what you do with spears:

GIANT turkey legs. Too gross for me. I like my meat to not even slightly resemble the animal it came from, but these three enjoyed their turkey legs!

The one ride Mary went on:

 

Everything cost money! Parking, admission, rides, games, food (obviously). I guess I thought since we had to pay admission that there would be some free things to do there. Not so. We didn't have a ton of cash with us so Mary got to pick one ride. I'm not sure she had too much fun overall but she did really love riding this ride. I was entertained by the guys pushing in the center.

Noisy kid!

As seen on Facebook:)

Pump pump pump it up!

More on the pumping journey...once I decided to pump it was really hard for me. I cried a lot that breastfeeding didn't work out. It was not really something I ever considered so it was a shock. But like I said, I talked to some very encouraging friends and came back to planet earth to realize that this is such a short time in his life. And IT'S JUST FOOD! 

We spend so much time feeding our kids in the beginning that it's hard to remember that it's just food. It's just one aspect of his multifaceted life. I care so much more about so many other things for my kids. I want them to know they were made by God. I want them to know that He loves them and has a purpose for them. I want them to know that this is only possible through Jesus. When I compare those things to being able to nurse him...wow, it doesn't even compare.

The last thing I will share is how I realized once again how prideful I am. As I mentioned in the previous post I've nursed two kids for a year each, I know so much about breastfeeding, and I'm a birth doula. Shouldn't I know what I'm doing??? Apparently not. Well I have knowledge, but sometimes knowledge isn't enough. Sometimes things just don't work out. And that's OK. That's what God taught me here. He taught me what his word already says, "Pride goes before destruction, And a haughty spirit before stumbling." I would rather have been taught by reading it, but you learn through experience sometimes. And I think this has given me even more insight into being less judgmental on these things. Sometimes you need to consider other options. I hate saying that in our relativistic culture. Some things are wrong. Period. But not in this case:) It's OK to not breastfeed. It's OK to give your kid formula sometimes. It's OK to let your husband try your breast pump on himself. What? That didn't happen.

My constant companion

Did you expect to see a picture of one of my children based on the title? Ah well, lately this pump has been my constant companion and I think I'm finally ready to talk about how I came to pumping full time.

From the very first time Thomas latched on to nurse it wasn't right. I knew exactly what he was doing wrong but it was a strange problem I didn't know how to solve. I've nursed two other kids for a year, read so much about breastfeeding, and help other women get a good start with nursing. I kept thinking, 'I should be able to do this. Why isn't this working?' I had troubles in the beginning with Noah because he liked to suck on his tongue (which he still does to this day when he's tired!), but that doesn't work so well when you need him to be sucking on something else! But with him I was able to work through it. So for the first few days with Thomas I thought I would just work through it. Even though I came to be in constant pain I think I had a pretty good mindset throughout and kept thinking I just had to tough it out.

When he was a week old I got to the height of the pain. I cried any time I thought about nursing him. Ian kept saying I should just pump or we could do formula. That was actually pretty comforting to me because I realized that this crazy desire to breastfeed was only on my part and that he would be OK if I didn't. That got me to thinking. Why did I get so upset at the thought of not nursing?? I think that it's because of mom-world. You know, that crazy place that is mostly online where you judge every other mom for not doing things the exact same way you do? That's mom-world. I've come a long way in my judgmental ways since I had Mary. I used to be president of mom-world (didn't you know?), but now...I don't give a rip how other people feed their kids, sleep train (or not), give birth, and all the other things that can be so controversial in mom world. But as it turns out, I still cared a lot about how I did those things. So during that time God did a lot of work on me. He showed me how much hope I put into being able to nurse Thomas. It was eye opening to me because I want my hope to be in God alone! And I want Thomas' hope to be in God as well, so I better get to modeling that!

Anyway, back to the story. So I came to realize my hope was in the wrong place, I saw two different lactation consultants and my OB, and I talked to some incredibly encouraging mom friends. And I decided I needed to switch to full time pumping. At first all I pumped was blood (sorry if that's too graphic...it's just the truth). I didn't have much milk. But over time I started to make more milk and heal physically. Thomas started to gain weight instead of losing it. I actually started to enjoy being his mother!

I have so many more reflections from this I will post them separately!

Quiet

This blog has been pretty quiet lately. I blame my iPad. I always like to post about our life through pictures (hence the blog title) and I don't put my pictures on my iPad, but that's what I'm always using now...so the blog gets neglected. But I want to get back to it! Life keeps going and I want to document it. Especially with kids it seems like they change every day.

Lately I have been able to have some dates with each of the kids individually. A couple weeks ago Mary and I went to the zoo with our friends!

She LOVED sharing the zoo with her little baby friend:) Especially showing him the train, which is her favorite part.

A week after that I took Noah to the museum center, just the two of us. I loved being able to just be with my man Noah, but I think he missed his sister. I kept telling him we were going on a special trip just us, but as we left he said, "come on mare mare!" Then when we got there he walked around aimlessly for a while. I told him we could go wherever he wanted, but I'm not sure he knew what he wanted! Next time I thought we could try to bring his sweet friend Mr. Newton along with us if his mommy says it's ok.