Come to Mommy

I have nothing exciting to report. In fact, in this post I plan to tell you how our blog might get a little more boring. I just realized that I don't document how I do things very well. Like how did I start training Mary to understand, "Do not touch," and other similar things? I don't know!!! I want to keep track of that so I know what to do next time! And I also want to have a place where I review/summarize some of the books I've read so that I know which ones to reference when I need to! So basically I'm going to start doing that on here. You can ignore these posts if you want and just wait for the picture ones:)

So I'm just starting (in the past couple weeks) to work with Mary on first time obedience. I mean if she doesn't obey the first time I tell her something it's not really obeying right? That is the end goal anyway, we are just getting started though! So I was advised to start with eye contact and the simple command to come to mommy. I started doing this with things that are really easy so that she can learn what the phrase, "come to mommy" means. Like I'll say, "Mary (wait for eye contact) it's time to eat," then I squat down at her level and say, "Come to mommy." So it's anytime that I know she would want to come anyway. Especially at meal times this hasn't failed me yet!! We've also made a game out of it: Ian will sit on one side of the room and I'll sit on the other. Then we take turns saying, "Mary (wait for eye contact), come to mommy/daddy" And then when she does of course she gets lots of hugs/kisses. We really only did the game once or twice at first so that she could learn what the phrase meant.

Now when she doesn't come, at this stage (16 months) I will go get her and bring her to where I was and say "you need to come when mommy calls you". Or if she is close enough that I can grab her hand I will just pull her to me and repeat that she needs to come to me. The hardest part is saying her name and then remembering to wait for her to look!

The goal in this is for her to learn to come even when she doesn't want to. It's learning submission. So a small victory today: it was bedtime and we walked into her room and she went straight for the rocking horse as I sat down to change her. I said, "Mary (eye contact!!) it's time for night night, come to mommy." I could see the look in her eyes. It said: but-i-don't-WANT-to-go-night-night-i-want-to-play! She was considering mutiny and even started to whimper. Then just like that she smiled and ran to me! And the hallelujah chorus started playing in my head. Lots of encouragement for my little princess after that! It's only happened a couple of times so far that she actually came when I knew she wouldn't want to. We'll get there. Even if it means I'm chasing her around for the next few months when she runs the opposite direction from me. She's learned things before and she can learn this!